Monday, April 9, 2007

Update II

There is no update. Sad. But true.

I was afraid this would happen. There aren't enough bloody hours in the day to make all the necessary phone calls. When I hit that last dead end, I dropped the ball. Albeit temporarily, but still dropped it. It nags at me daily but my work situation doesn't allow for too many personal calls during the day.

Actually...as I sit here, I realize there is a profound update. Not on insurance companies, or who my surgeon will be. On a personal level.

Some of you have remarked, either here or through personal email, upon my bravery at sharing this story so "publicly".

Yeah, damn it, I am brave! I'm finally talking about the elephant in the room. Blogging about this is seeping into my "walking in the real world" life, and I'm talking about it more openly there too. And I'm pushing others around me to talk about it more honestly with me.

Trouble is, with something of this nature, mentionings are in two categories. "Those who mention" and "Those who don't". The first group (this is from a lifetime of experience folks) tends to mention callously, without forethought, or they are downright rude or cruel. The second group, being of the more polite and kind variety of human beings, don't mention it unless I do, or they do so politely and with curiosity, and generally after knowing me for some time.

This...this alone is enough reason to help you understand why I want this fixed. I don't wish to be defined by this one piece of my physicality, nor do I want that feeling of knowing that it is an uncomfortable subject for others around me. That second part? That's why I'm blogging about it.

Meanwhile, I've been quoted here.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say thanks very much for this blog. I will keep checking back - please keep us posted! I have just decided to see what I can do about my own condition (glasses?), and have come upon your wonderful site. You are not alone... And don't take any guff from those swine insurance bastards!

VV said...

Hi anonymous,

You are quite welcome. If you haven't already, check out some of the scholarly journal article links on the right. There are scientists out there pushing for insurance coverage of corrective surgery.

Thanks for visiting!

Anonymous said...

I know it's not easy having "crossed eyes." Our culture/society is hard on us because we look different and grew up differently. I have been in vision therapy for over two years and have learned a lot about myself and how my eyesight impacted my personal development.
When I was a kid I knew something was wrong, but I didn't really understand it. Back then surgery was usually the only option. My parents brought me to an opthalmologist, but lucky for me he told my parents to leave it alone. When I was an adult I had two eye operations to "fix it." From a surgeons point of view the surgery was a success because my eyes "looked straight" (cosmetically straight), but after the surgery, my brain and eyes had a hard time working together. After a lot of work, and a lot of optometrists I discovered the miracle of "Vision Therapy." It is harder and it takes a lot more time and it's also difficult to get insurance to pay for it, but the rewards are much greater. Though surgery may be necessary, nowadays there are usually more options available. I understand completely why you want to have the operation, and perhaps it is the best option for you. I am sure you'll evaluate your own personal situation and make a wise decision.

I know this may sound childish or crazy, but the most important thing to realize, as you go through all this, is that God loves you and made you the way you are for a reason. You are a "Child of God." Though surgeons are also a gift and often help many people they often fail to understand the beauty of the "whole person." If you had cancer and surgery was the absolute only option, then of course you would have the surgery and thank God for the miracle of science, but you don't have cancer.

My vision therapist takes into account the "whole person". I am unique and my eyes have helped to shape who I am today. As I go through the process of learning how my eyes and brain work, I am also learning about me. It's a very important process and it is helping me to be patient with myself - which is the exact opposite of what our culture teaches us.

It's really great that you are blogging about this "before" having the surgery. I believe you are a very intuitive person, and will be able to sift through all the piles of information and all the different surgeons, and oppinions and make "your own" decision and that's really what is most important.

I'll continue to read your blog and see how things are going.

God Bless!!